sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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