That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
