UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
