You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I love you.
Bad choice
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
