Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
