Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
