I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
