I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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