I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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