I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
my poor anus
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize