I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
