Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
third nipple confirmed
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
