oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize