I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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