maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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