I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
