Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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