The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
