woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
