you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize