My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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