Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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