We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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