maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
