She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
