I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize