He is such a slut. More and more my type.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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