In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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