He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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