So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
