I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
