Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
