can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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