i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think a kid would responsible me up
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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