physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
