then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
