got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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