Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
