Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
