i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
