Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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