I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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