Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
