I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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