overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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