problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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