The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
