It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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