Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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