i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize