Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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