someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
