Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
