just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
