That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Text me some of your sweat
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