Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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