We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
