so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize