My liver just broke up with me...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
