Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
