the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
