she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
